Upstated

Mailman's last day

2008-10-28T04:11:00.000-07:00

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through
all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who
congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde in
a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through
the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you." He said, "Fuck him, just give him a dollar."

The blonde then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

Polish Man At Opticians

2008-10-18T04:10:00.000-07:00

Polish man goes into an opticians...
Optician covers one eye up and says to the bloke...
"Can you read the eye chart please?"
Polish man says " Read it ! I know him "

Gender Poetry

2008-10-14T00:09:00.000-07:00

A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'

I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
huge boobs and a nice ass who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

The End